


they try to make you regret it, you tell them no, not this time

by skeppysbbh



Series: A Constant Headache [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, M/M, No beta we die like lmanburg, Skephalo, fr this time, rated teen for vague mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms/suicide and swearing, skephalo is fighting for like half of this fic but it turns out alright I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeppysbbh/pseuds/skeppysbbh
Summary: “Stop talking right now. Listen, I knew I’d get hate, I knew I’d lose lots of followers if I came out, but I did it anyways because I love you and I want to share this with the world, but if you’re not willing to do the same, then what’s the point?”
Relationships: Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Series: A Constant Headache [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035861
Comments: 12
Kudos: 250





	they try to make you regret it, you tell them no, not this time

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo it’s me again!! I got a ton of positive comments on my previous post and I felt so validated and loved so I went ahead and whipped up this bad boy!! 
> 
> For those who haven’t read the first fic in this series, I’d recommend reading it first as it’ll make more sense. It has smut though, so I’ll provide a summary for those who aren’t comfy with reading stuff like that: 
> 
> Skeppy and Bad have a conversation in the morning, and discover that they both want to come out and reveal their relationship. Bad leaves for his stream. Skeppy writes up a tweet but ends up drafting it, and saves it for a later date. This story picks up right after Bad’s stream...
> 
> Title is yet again from the song Constant Headache by Joyce Manor cause I’m a sucker for that song :P 
> 
> Using their screen names, I’m not comfortable using their irl names sorry lol
> 
> mandatory disclaimer:   
> DO NOT, under any circumstances, show the CCs or their friends this fanfic. It will be deleted. If either of the CCs are uncomfortable with this fic, it will be privated/deleted. Also, don’t be an ass in the comments. Hate/unhelpful comments will be deleted. If you don’t like what I write block me and then move on. I don’t wanna have to deal with it. Thank you. 
> 
> Anyways, if you sat through all of that, you deserve a medal!! Please enjoy the fanfic and leave comments and kudos as they really feed my motivation! <3

BadBoyHalo ends his stream with a sigh, thoroughly exhausted. Of  _ course _ people had to goof off in the chat and make him lose it. Emotions were already running high this morning and chat seemed to want to make things worse. He’d managed to stay in control the majority of the time and had a successful stream, but now he was emotionally drained and wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch some silly TV show. 

He stands up from his desk, sliding off his headphones and turning off his PC. He grabs his phone and leaves the room, flipping the lights off as he leaves. 

Skeppy’s in the kitchen when he walks in, scrolling away on Twitter. He seems very anxious, judging by his bouncing leg and slightly faster than normal breathing. Bad is instantly concerned. 

“What’s wrong, darling?” He asks, and Skeppy nearly jumps out of the chair. 

“Jesus, Bad, you scared the crap out of me..” He mutters. Bad’s tempted to tell him off for the swear word but looking at Skeppy he’s clearly in no state to be dealing with that. He lets it slide. 

Skeppy sighs and sits fully upright, clearly preparing to tell Bad something important. He takes a deep breath. 

“I tweeted out.. something.. and I’m a bit nervous.” 

Bad cocks his head, but picks up his phone and clicks on the Twitter notification from a few minutes ago. His eyes scan over what Skeppy wrote. 

_“I’m_ _gay. no, this isn’t a joke. it’s taken me a long time to accept. If you don’t like me anymore then unfollow me and block me while you’re at it.”_

Bad’s eyes shoot up to meet his boyfriend’s. 

“You came out.” 

Skeppy nods once. “I did.” But he doesn’t seem very comfortable with this fact. 

He’s certainly surprised when Bad grins widely and dashes around the table to engulf him in a bear hug. Overwhelming happiness seems to radiate from him, and Skeppy can’t help but lean into the kind and loving touch. 

“I’m so proud of you!!” Bad bursts out, and squeezes the brown-eyed man harder. He’s obviously profoundly pleased. 

Skeppy shrugs, seeming rather bashful about the whole thing. “I needed to eventually, seeing as we’re going to be revealing our status soon.” He smiles, and suddenly Bad feels a wave of doubt hit him like a truck. 

He bites his lip, eyebrows furrowing in thought.  _ Is it really worth it?  _

“Skeppy.. I’ve been thinking…” 

Skeppy’s eyes are bright with happiness. “Yes?” 

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell them just yet.” 

His boyfriend gives him a look of sheer confusion. It looks like all the joy is draining from his face, and Bad tries hard to keep his emotions in check. 

“What-what do you mean? You said you wanted to just this morning?” He asks. 

“Well,” Bad takes a long, slow breath. “I was streaming earlier, and my chat likes to mess with me. I was starting to think.. think that maybe they’d make fun of me for this. And I know it’s not a bad thing, of course! But… sometimes people take it way too far and it  _ hurts  _ me… and I don’t know if I want to go through all that, you know?” He finishes, not daring to look at Skeppy’s face. 

“Yes. I think I do.” Skeppy’s response is cold and angry. “You want to save your own skin. Can’t risk having your reputation as the innocent, sweet one soiled by your  _ boyfriend _ , can you?” 

Bad flinches from the harsh words.  _ I deserve this reaction.  _

Now he looks up, and Skeppy’s eyes are alight with hurt and anger. “I came out  _ for you _ , okay? Because  _ you  _ said that you were ready to tell everyone about us, and now after I reveal who I truly am, you decide to take it back? I can’t believe you.” He spits out. 

Bad scrambles to reply. “No, I didn’t mean it like that! I just don’t want to have us be bombarded with hate, because the internet is like that, right?”

Skeppy scoffs. “Look at AntFrost and Velvet! They came out just fine, but you think it’s gonna be different for us?” He asks, disbelief in his tone. 

“It’s different for us because our fan base is bigger! We could be accused of being indecent, we-“ 

“Stop talking right now. Listen, I knew I’d get hate, I knew I’d lose lots of followers if I came out, but I did it anyways because I love you and I want to share this with the world, but if you’re not willing to do the same, then what’s the point?” He throws his hands in the air and stands up. Bad blinks, trying to think of something, anything to deescalate the situation. He comes up empty handed, and Skeppy snatches his phone up and marches down the hallway. 

Moments later, he hears the shower running. Skeppy often uses the shower to cool off from their quarrels. 

Bad buries his head in his hands.  _ Great job. Now you’ve messed up the one relationship you love more than anything else.  _

* * *

The streams of water beat down on Skeppy’s tanned shoulders, creating a soft massage. The heat is cranked nearly to the max, but it feels good in some sort of sadistic way. 

He presses his forehead against the wall, letting the hot water drip down his face and slide off his nose, hitting the shower floor. 

Somewhere along the line, he starts crying, his salty, bitter tears mixing with the scalding water that cascades down his body. He burns. 

His hands press against the shower wall and he guides himself down and plops his body onto the tiled floor. The ceramic tiles cool his stinging skin, and he spreads himself out. The hot water feels like bullets against his chest. There’s a dark part of him that wishes they were. 

Thoughts of his teen years swirl in his brain, horrifying, but looming. Always looming. A constant reminder of what he would do for peace and acceptance and for his brain to leave him the hell alone. 

But he can’t go back to his old ways. It’s self destructive. He has  _ so much _ that he cares about now to throw it away for his own selfish urges.  _ So what if I fucked my entire life up by coming out? I still have my fanbase, my friends. I don’t  _ need  _ it.  _

There’s a soft creaking noise and Skeppy jumps as the door swings open. Bad’s standing there, a look of sorrow and shame on his face. He cocks his head sadly as he looks at his boyfriend, curled up on the shower floor. 

“Hey, mind if I come in?” Bad asks, and Skeppy nods reluctantly. He wanted to be alone, but he can’t avoid this forever. This is probably one of the most important conversations they’ll have in their entire relationship, and it needs to be had. 

The taller man gently closes the door and begins to strip, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the side. His pants and boxers have the same fate, and he snatches a towel from the basket. 

Bad pauses, looking back at Skeppy. He seems… almost broken. 

_ Did I do this?  _

That’s not important right now. He screwed up, and Skeppy deserves an apology. Pushing his own feelings aside, he steps forward into the shower. 

Skeppy barely looks up when Bad flinches from the scorching heat. He’s lost in his head, spiraling. Quickly, Bad turns down the water temperature. 

“Hey… Skeppy?” The taller man asks. Skeppy’s head raises up, but he says nothing. Bad notes (with a painful pang in his heart), that It’s hard to tell whether the droplets of water cascading down his cheeks are from the shower or his tears. Either way, he looks a mess. 

Bad frowns down at the younger man. “Can you stand up for me?”

Skeppy nods and hauls himself off of the shower floor. He seems reluctant. It’s understandable though, given how awfully Bad screwed up during their last conversation. 

The younger man runs a shaking hand through his dripping hair and glares at Bad. “What is it? Come to give me your sympathy?” 

Bad flinches at the bitter jab, but refrains from retaliation.  _ It’ll only make things worse. Stay calm…  _

“No. Listen, I know I.. screwed up, okay? I wanted to explain.” 

Skeppy waves his hand dismissively. “Maybe you should’ve explained  _ before  _ I came out to everyone and quite possibly ruined my career, but go ahead. Explain.” It’s becoming increasingly clear to Bad that he’s hiding the pain behind a wall of indifference and anger. He doesn’t know any other way, it’s what he’s always done. 

“Skeppy… I’m sorry. Can you look at me, love?” He places a hand on the shorter man’s jaw, gently tilting his face upwards to look at him. 

“...what do you want?” Skeppy manages to choke out, tears welling in his hazel eyes. He really wanted to hold it together, but his facade is cracking. Bad knows what he’s really feeling, and the thought alone is terrifying. 

_ Hold me. Let me know everything’s gonna be okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.  _

But he can’t say that out loud. 

“I was wrong, Skeppy! I was wrong about not telling people!” Bad bursts out. “I pushed you to put yourself out there but I didn’t do the same! It’s my fault, you’re right, nothing is more important in my life than our relationship! I… I really messed up. I shouldn’t have put my own selfish feelings about who I am before yours, especially after you put everything on the line and disregarded your own. And I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I’m going to come out too.” He finishes, fighting back tears of his own. 

Skeppy begins to tremble. His eyes squeeze shut, water droplets slipping off his fanned eyelashes. He shakes his head several times, in shock. Everything is so  _ overwhelming  _ and he just wants to crawl into a hole and never come back out. 

Soft, pale hands tentatively reach out and grasp Skeppy’s own, tanned hands. It’s a gesture of peace. Forgiveness. 

“Do you want to talk more?” Bad asks, and Skeppy only shakes his head. No more words for a while.

“How about cuddling and watching some stupid TV show?” Bad tries again, and this time a soft, fragile smile grows on the shorter boy’s face. 

Bad nearly falls backwards when Skeppy rushes him head-on into his chest, needing comfort and human contact. He nuzzles his nose further into Bad’s breastbone, and Bad knows that they’re gonna be okay. Everything’s okay, even if it’s just for now. 

They end up in their bed, Skeppy snacking on leftover Chinese food they had in the fridge, _90_ _day Fiancé_ playing on the TV. Skeppy seems much calmer, his breath coming in little staccatos as he works on coming down from his breakdown. They go to bed a couple hours later, Skeppy feeling safe and content within Bad’s arms as they spoon. 

It’s been two days since then, and Bad finishes his tweet, pausing on the tweet button for a second. Skeppy is beside him, eyes half open, head on his shoulder as he takes a brief break from napping the early afternoon away. 

The reaction to his coming out has been mostly positive, the comments on his Twitter page consisting of  _ “I knew it!” _ and  _ “when’s bad coming out? _ ”. There were people who sent hate, of course, but they were drowned out by the sheer amount of support headed his way.

To say the older man was happy about it was an understatement. He was thrilled about the sheer love being thrown at his boyfriend, ranging from supportive comments to edits to all sorts of fanart. Skeppy deserves it. 

Bad looks back at the shorter man, so peaceful and blissful, seemingly in his own little world. 

It’s time to show the world who they really are. Time for a new chapter. 

He presses the tweet button. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> sooo yeah!! One more fic and then this series is done, I promise it ends happily. 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed, it makes me feel good lmao 
> 
> See y’all in the next story <3


End file.
